Shades of Blue


First, let us just agree that there is nothing inherently bad about blue or red.  Conversely, we must also agree that there is nothing exceptionally brilliant about red or blue.  They are, in fact, just color.  Color is simply the property that helps to describe the sensation that our eyes experience as a result of light being reflected off of an object.  Red and Blue possess the ability and uniqueness to stand alone and appeal to a unique set of experiences, circumstances, and opportunities without interference from or dependency upon one another.  They are base in their expression.  They are primary.  They require nothing else in order to be who they are.  They are whole.  They are singular. They are…color.

She loves Red.  Her affection for red extends to the nuanced hues that exist within the spectrum of the color red.  She may not be able to explain why she so readily responds to red, but she has no doubt about the fact that, red is a catalyst that moves her.  She knows that even the hues of this primary sensation are able to describe the very life she lives.

Magenta motivates her to move through life with purpose and drives her to make choices of clarity. The hue of Ruby allows her to rest in a space of resolve.  No matter what she may be experiencing, Ruby is her color of resolution for all that may be crashing down upon her thoughts and emotional energy. Burgundy gives her a sense of balance and bravado.  She is strengthened by its deep and saturated state of reflection.  Her moments of burgundy make even the most unsure of times become familiar and conquerable.  Whenever she knocks upon the door of Fuchsia, she knows that fear is answering her call.  Fuchsia is the over-extended brightness that masks the unknown for her.  Perhaps, being fuchsia will distract you from seeing her lack of burgundy and the indecisiveness of her ruby.  If ever backed into a corner, her Crimson crassness will surely be the reflection she projects and the sensation that all will experience.  It is biting.  Crimson is direct.  Crimson is unmistakable. Crimson takes no prisoners.  Crimson cares….about very little except its sensation of survival.  Crimson is not always accurate and doesn’t always seek burgundy as a partner but doesn’t mind if he tags along and stands two steps behind and doesn’t speak.  Crimson is always in the moment, even when the moment has passed. Scarlet is her space of sensuality.  Her sexiness and seduction are supremely situated in the sensory space of scarlet.  The sensitivity that she exudes within her scarlet space allows her to be vulnerable and more easily succumbed to any episodes of magenta deficiency which she may be dealing with.  Ultimately, she knows that she is… the color red.

Why do you keep demanding Shades of Blue from her?  If you desire to reach her you must speak her language.  Even in your effort to help advance her to understandings of the blue you, it is counter-productive to ignore her sense of being complete, competent, courageous and calm in her red space.  Educate her about blue…don’t diminish her because of her lack of sensitivity to it.  Learn how to offer her purple.  Know her well enough to not give her the shock of ROYAL BLUE as you try to share parts of you.  If she consistently refuses your blue and is not flexible enough to entertain your purple, then, you must…. find another object that is more sensitive to your true blue reflection.  And, that’s okay.  Blue is you…and… it’s just a color…. it needs nothing else in order to be primary!

Submitted by Steven D. Randolph – StevieD  (5-March-2012)

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Spoken Word – Real Man Fantasy


REAL MAN FANTASY_2MAR2012 (G-Rated Version)

C’mon bruh!  You still live with yo momma, and unless she’s the one… that’s keeps it hard with a lick…
Then I don’t even need to hear about the size of your stick….
Cause it has no bearing on the conversation that I wanna deal wit’.
Which is, your claim over how much…. of a REAL MAN you are
Even though every time we holla… yo butt is out at the bar.
 
You see, I’m not a lonely female who is so easily persuaded
By your L.L.  lip lick and the pec muscles you flick…
Your pretty-boi dance moves , Or your new baller shoes.
So…. You can stop all of that.. I’m not remotely convinced
It gets you nowhere with me…. So just get off the fence
Between child- and man-hood ….it’s not a good look
It’s time for you to man-up and have your reality shook.
 
And yea, I think I’m being ever so slightly judgmental,
But it’s about time somebody shared with you..you must be plagued with something mental
‘Cause when you are over twenty-five and you have no degree,
You have No home that you’ve purchased and you still live rent free,
Then, you need to be measured, it’s part of the price you pay
 For living the life you have chosen to live called… The Real Man “Fan-ta-say”…. Say What???
 
I can’t stand that Your dreams are built on the backs of those who really love you..
Taking advantage with a promise of… “You give me one I’ll give you two…”
“After I make it of course”, WE all in this together, ‘cause there is no divorce.
‘Cause you don’t marry your momma, your sista or yo girl,
You string everyone along for the dirt you do called pearls
True, pearls take a long time and then they still must be found and harvested
And since you’ve never even planted you will always be starving
Starving for attention.  for money, even for fame.
And the lies you live your life upon keep you perpetually lame.
You know?….Disabled…difficult…., weak… and ineffectual,
But you can’t even see it ‘cause your strength is just sexual .
I knew you didn’t know the meaning cause that’s too intellectual
For you to bother with vocabulary that you will live but never speak.
Can’t even name how many times you’ve punched a clock beyond 8 weeks.
 
Oh, and the lil soapbox you like to stand on with all your brothahood pride
Keeps you visible as the icon of the Black-man’s plight
Fist power raised for the brothas, who are down for “THE FIGHT”
Of being held down by “The System”….held back by “The Man”….
Everything you do is a fight against your awesome master plan
That says you would do better, could do better , should be better.. IF
Folks just got outta your way and let you spread your wings for cheddar.
 
The real truth is you’re doing what you do ‘cause it works
For brotha’s like you who don’t really wanna work..
Hard from the bottom to achieve what’s at the top
Starting with a bucket full of bleach water and the rag-tail mop.
But mopping floors will breed the integrity and the work ethic you lack
For you to build your empire that buys the Benz and the ‘Lac.
 
I’m all for you chasing the dreams as they develop from the start
But I refuse to watch you use my women for even a small part
Of your Manipulating Fantasy-trip…through this life full of REAL MEN
Who don’t just dream it… but we do it… and we do it from our heart!
 
So wake up now young man….It not hard to achieve
The things you want out of your life based on what you believe
What matters the most… is that you never forget
This may be the last time…it may be your last chance
 
So, make investing in you count…. Make loving on you worth
Supporting your dream to be as valuable as your first birth.
 
You are not just a fantasy…a figment of our imagination
You are the promise, the backbone of the next generation.
 
We Real Men will stand with you… ‘cause one can teach one….
We Real Men will Love you….As A Father Loves His Son.
 
 
Submitted By:  Steven D. Randolph – aka StevieD —- #basictruth
 
 

Spoken Word – GOODBYE


 Goodbye – 27-FEB-2012

I promise I’m not really bitter, You’ve just left a bad taste in my life.
I’ll forget your shallow promises… The “How you would Be, if you were my wife”…
That’s probably NOT gonna happen now. 
It’s just your fairytale.
I’m certain you will replace my energy…with some desperate henpecked male…
 
I’m certainly not the one,
Who can fulfill your twisted need
To control THE MAN who you say you love
Who’s clearly not your son.
 
You see, the randomness of your consistency is not consistent at all
With the balance that I require to release to you my heart’s all.
The only thing I can count on is the frequency of your life’s many battles
The “I’m sensitive over this”, and the “I’m upset over that”, it’s like the nuisance of a Baby’s rattle.
Just background noise that indicates YES, you’re awake and occupied
No signs of your desire for any resolute truth, You just wanna be pacified. 
 
So… Here…. Stick THIS in your mouth!   I’ve raised all my kids!
 
I refuse to manage insecurity that’s wrapped up neatly in your low self-esteem.
I’ve done that before,
and I adamantly swore
I’d go to HELL before I rewind that scene!
 
I know I have a list of things required of a wife for me
But, that doesn’t make a difference if I never can be free
Of my own past hurt and sufferings that clearly was meant to be
As an opportunity for personal growth and relationship maturity.
 
So, I guess what I’m really saying is… “Okay we gave it a try
As God is in heaven, I do believe in his divine destined-eye
That new from my beginning, what the purpose would eventually be
For my choosing to explore romantic love with you and now needing to say goodbye.
 
 
Steven D Randolph – aka StevieD
 

SPOKEN WORD- Love Triangle


LOVE TRIANGLE_16JUL2011

How did I even get here?  What twisted, animalistic, complicated set of events aligned with the stars and brought this to be?

Me, a man secure in who I am…. realizing that I’m in a love of three…

ME….SHE….and….HE.

I’m confused.  But I don’t know why I feel like It’s a choice.

Caught in the middle of this emotional war

who deserves the privilege of loving my heart more, ME…SHE… OR HE?

Since the first moment we met, I knew I’d have a flow with her always

She is the epitome of heavenly beauty, so gentle and carefree.

She is intelligent, and caring, not overly emotional and can handle the worst, the very worst of me.

The love she brings to me is pure without any jealousy.  I don’t know a woman alive that just

Wants me to be the man I wanna be.

And Yet… there is HE! I met him when I met her never thinking that

He is the man that I long to be

Confident, secure, possessing 100% masculinity.

A Man’s man to man to all that  know him

Somehow this feels precisely what was destined for me in the creation’s master plan

I’ve never seen the righteous forsaken nor his seed beg bread,

So as a child of the king I pray to the Lord to navigate this triad.

My expectation was he’d make me choose and thereby making my heart to ache

But instead he gave me a liberty command to embrace all that I could take

HE SAID: “Honor thy father and mother that thy days may be long on this earth”

Give respect to the gentleness destined to give me life thru labored child-birth

So, I don’t have to choose, I can love them both with all that is within

Despite what you thought this love was about, this triangle love is not sin.

Momma and Daddy this 3-point affair started over 45 years ago

Never once have you considered, at least to my face, saying…”boy you have to go”

You’ve chastised me, you’ve advised me, Given me much more than I could ever ask

So I stand her tall…as a proud man wall declaring ALL IN THIS WORLD THAT WE HAVE

I don’t have to choose, I don’t have to lose, I can stay in this trinity

I can love you with everything that’s in my heart… this love of ME…SHE… and HE!

Dedicated to Isaac and Annie Randolph, My Love Triangle

How Did I Get HERE?


 

 

Married at the age of twenty.

Divorced at the age of forty.

Not the vision I had for my life.

Living my future minus my wife.

Not the destiny I dreamed for my family.

Not the example my parents have set.

I am Such a disappointment to myself.

How can I justify this?

Who can explain this situation to me?.

HOW DID I GET “HERE”!???

Honestly, this road has been an unexpected trip that I could never imagine  myself having to embark upon.  The left turn that occurred in my relationship while the momentum had me  heading in a rightmost trajectory, threw EVERYTHING off kilter.  It sucks.  I am a family man by design.  I am a family man BY CHOICE!  I lack the desire to disrespect and use women.  And yet, I still find myself HERE!  Single.  Fearful.  Without a signficant lover and companion.  Without a wife. Adjusting to a different life….a different lifestyle…the single life.  The one consolation that I have found is the renewed opportunity to still express love.  I am in love with my Pops.  I am in love with my Moms.  I am in love with my oldest daughter.  I am in love with my only blood-son.  I am in love with my babygirl!  I RETAIN THE ABILITY TO LOVE!  That is a gift that I don’t take for granted.   Thank GOD for A HEART to SHOW LOVE!

While “HERE” is the place of the unexpected destiny of my past, I must convince myself that there is a reason for it.  I must parlay the experience of pain and disappointment into the catalyst for increased power and promise. I MUST not get stuck in my “HERE”!  I must find a way to get beyond my alphabetic fears!

The fear of “T” – TRUST.

The fear of “R” – REJECTION.

The fear of “I” – ISOLATION.

The fear of “C” – COMITTMENT.

The fear of “K “ – KINETIC INTIMACY.

I must be WILLING to BREAK FREE from the Bonds of THE devil’s TRICK…. and enjoy the TREAT that is The LOVE of GOD!

I got “HERE” because of choices that were made.  Some choices were made by me.  Some choices were made by someone else.  I OWN MY CHOICES!  Grace  has covered my choices of convenience.  Grace has covered my choices of rebellion.  Grace has covered my choices of frustration.  Grace has covered my choices of fear.  Grace has covered my choices of pride.  Grace has covered my choices of SIN.  GRACE COVERED ME while I was “THERE”…..and… GRACE COVERS ME WHILE I AM “HERE”!!

So, now I choose NOT TO WRESTLE against my “HERE”…but… embrace it as part of what is purposed for me.  It is an uncomfortable place.  At times, it is a lonely place.  Undoubtedly, it is an inconvenient place.  However, IT IS THE PLACE where HE continues to KEEP ME SAFE from all HARM!  In the palm of HIS hand…I  HAVE FOUND SAFETY!  Ultimately, “HERE” is where my peace shall dwell.

HOW DID I GET HERE?  At this point, It doesn’t even really matter…. I WOULD RATHER BE NOWHERE ELSE…but right “HERE”!!!

StevieD has submitted this #BASICTRUTH 17-FEB-2012 10:36pm

“…But That’s NOT What I Meant!”


Conflict.  Conflict always brings about a journey to discover that which is absolute truth.  Well, while absolute truth is the theoretical destination, most opportunities of conflict lead to the revelation of individual perspective truth.  For purposes of discussion let’s characterize absolute truth to mean all that is factual and literal.  Absolute truth can be further described as the elements of “what is…” without interpretation, manipulation or discrimination from any external source. Conversely, perspective truth envelopes the influence of that which absolute truth discards.  Stated differently, perspective truth can and does take into account many variables of external influence to complete its view of an experience.  Perspective truth can be characterized as the elements of truth as perceived by an individual that rely on personality filters, biases, anecdotal experiences, training, culture, belief and value measures, etc…  Perspective truth really is the truth “as I see it”.

Many a disagreement has occurred that causes someone to invariably declare, “…But that’s not what I meant!”  Only, at the point that this statement is uttered, that which has been spoken before has already had its effect.   In romantic relationships, as is true in all scopes of inter-personal communication, it is important to be aware of the words which we speak and their probable value to the person we are communicating with.

Nothing is more reckless than a person who is willing to speak totally unfiltered, without regard for where or how their words land.  Many people feel that all that they must worry about is whether or not the content of what they speak is valid or true.  While it is important to speak that which is true, there also has to be an awareness of how someone will receive the words of truth.

All communication is bi-lateral.  No matter what information or idea is being expressed, every communication experience has intent and every communication experience has impact.  The very measure of effective communication is when there is understanding of or sensitivity to the intent and impact of what is being said before it is said.   Having an understanding and appreciation for the elements of intent and impact can shape both the delivery method and the content of the information being expressed.  Many couples fall into the trap of “keeping it 100” and “getting it off my chest” as a means of expressing how open to the idea of communication they are.  However, failing to realize that once words are spoken, it is hard to retrieve the harm those words can cause, can ruin any opportunities of actually achieving the desired results.  What you intend to say and the impact of what you did say can be very different destinations.  The communication experience can take on a totally different tone when there is a break-down between what was said and how someone receives what is being said.  While, you cannot totally predict how someone will respond to your communication, it is always good to consider who you are talking to and how they may interpret what you are saying.

Undeliverable absolute truth is just as detrimental to effective communication as is false or perspective truth communicated via ignorance.

Communication is an art form.  Effective communication is a skill.  Learn to be slow to speak.  Reduce the conflict in your relationship by learning to evaluate what you want to say and how you may choose to say it before actually saying it.  It seems simple, right?  No matter what, your words will have some effect.  Seek to consider the impact of what you wish to say as you pursue the intent of saying what it is you wish to convey.

StevieD – Intent vs Impact 17-Feb-2012

#basictruth

Fear: Understanding Its Parts Before Managing Its Whole


FEAR

     Let me just say it up front, MEN HAVE FEARS and at times, MEN OPERATE OUT OF THEIR FEAR.  No need for the band to play, cheerleaders to contort into three-dimensional expressions of “I TOLD YOU SO”…and… the fat lady need not sing.  It is neither difficult nor embarrassing to admit that men have some of the same emotional struggles while navigating the relationship space as do their female counterparts.  Now, that being said.  We can move forward.  

Despite the rhetoric of many alpha personalities, fear is NOT a diminutive emotion or emotional response, which should only be expressed by the “weaker sex” or “un-real” men.  Fear Has Purpose.  Fear has Perspective.  Fear has Position.  Fear has Power.  One thing that Fear lacks is PEACE!   To allow fear to exist in your life and specifically within your relationship quest, requires you to declare imminent if not immediate war with your available spirit peace.  Fear Is The Enemy of Spirit Peace.

For discussion purposes, consider the following:   

  “Fear is the feeling of agitation and anxiety caused by the presence or imminence of danger.”  

Fear Has Purpose:    We are always led to believe that fear is innately bad.  Without getting into the theological discussion of fear as expressed in the Holy Bible, “God has not given us the spirit of fear but of power , of love and sound mind….(2 Timothy 1:7)”, fear is a naturally occurring emotion for mankind.  This scripture simply and emphatically highlights its spirit source.  However, it’s purpose remains.  The purpose of fear is to bring about an increased awareness of and sensitivity toward the spirit space of our everyday environment.  We are three-dimensional (body, soul and spirit)beings and our relationships are a convergence of these three dimensions.  This convergence occurs whether we want it to or not.  Conflict comes when your body, mind and spirit are not in agreement with the body, mind and spirit of the target of your desired relationship.

 Fear Has Perspective:   Perspective is a point of view.  Fear is the view of a circumstance or sometimes even the idea of a circumstance from the inside of you (your mind), looking outward.  No one can exert fear over you.  One must make the choice to express fear with regard to a specific internal or external catalyst..  Where there is a choice, there is a responsiblity.  Where there is responsibility there is accountability.  If you are responsible for making a choice out of fear, then you are equally accountable for the consequence of that fear-choice.  Consequence is not innately negative, consequence is simply an end-result, be it positive or negative in comparison.

 Fear Has Position:  We give fear a position of influence in our lives. Period.   This position can either be subordinate in nature or dominant in practice.  Once again, we are met with the dilemma of choice.  And in fact, fear has the uncanny strategy of deceiving us into believing we don’t actually have a choice in the matter.  This is where the negativity of fear occurs and reeks havoc in the lives of those who allow fear to have a headliner role in the stage performance of our lives. Fear requires balance when it is present.  

Fear Has Power: Fear gets its power directly from the position in which one allows it to hold within one’s life. Fear is a forward-impacting emotion that can stop you from exerting power over your future, even your intended destiny.  Fear will cripple your ability to exert power over  aspects of  your life that are not good for your Healthy Stablility and Survival,  Fear, in the wrong position, will decrease your freedom to excercise power over whom to give and recieve proper love.  Fear, that is out of balance, can overtake your power to choose to function in soundness of mind. 

Ultimately, Fear is in direct opposition to the peace that is the designed state of mind and state of existence for our lives.  Fear is at war with our God peace.  We may not be able to annihilate fear from our lives totally, but, when we understand its elements, when we are sensitive to its tactics, when we are aware of it impact and influence we are better equipped to manage it into submission.

(Program Note: Stay tuned for additional entries related to “THE WEAKER SEX” and “The UN-REAL MAN”) 

#BasicTruth


     Some aspects of this journey we are on called Life On Earth is not complicated.  While there is much about the universe in which we exist that some of the smartest and most learned minds on this planet are attempting to decipher, understand, justify, explain and make plain for the masses, I am compelled to resolve that some things are simply NOT THAT DEEP.  

I subscribe to the belief that, because we are such a varied human race with self imposed distinctions based on nationality, economic status, religious/spiritual affiliations, sexual orientations, musical preferences and the like – there must be a lowest common denominator which enables us all to have a measurable equity.   This common denominator must, by default, be a minimal point of convergence of all peoples, places and perspectives. 

We move through this existence with a universe-defined-acceptance and understanding and appreciation for WHAT IS.  “What is what?” you may ask…. Well, it can be expressed with simplistic phrases.  What is right versus what is wrong.  What is innately good versus what is innately bad.  What is positive versus what is negative.  What is up versus what is down.  What is common versus what is unique. What is abundant versus what is scarce. We are more alike than we are different.

The idea of #BasicTruth is my means of identifying ideas, thoughts and behavioral explanations that, to me, seem to be more common sense, rather than some deep, mystical un-attainable aspect of wisdom, knowledge and truth.  It’s simple.  One of my boys, Mr. M. Frazier,  frequently tells me to KISS because I can get wordy and over explain my ideas and thoughts in an attempt to ensure clarity.  Keep It Simple Stupid. While the first time he shared this with me I was slightly offended, I realized that the offense was in the fact that it exposed a character flaw of mine, not in his desire to malign me in any way.  It simply wasn’t necessary to extrapolate as I was doing in the context that we were speaking. Dangit!  Add it to the list of things to work on!

 In a nutshell, #BasicTruth can be used to emphasize that an idea, thought, opinion, point of clarity, nugget of knowledge, expression of wisdom is well…rather, ordinary and everyday. 

By the way, “Why do you think it so deep in the first place?”  Perhaps one needs to expand their opportunities for learning and expose themselves to more divirsity so that everyday #basictruth  doesn’t sound so profound.

SDwayne – #basictruth

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