Shades of Blue


First, let us just agree that there is nothing inherently bad about blue or red.  Conversely, we must also agree that there is nothing exceptionally brilliant about red or blue.  They are, in fact, just color.  Color is simply the property that helps to describe the sensation that our eyes experience as a result of light being reflected off of an object.  Red and Blue possess the ability and uniqueness to stand alone and appeal to a unique set of experiences, circumstances, and opportunities without interference from or dependency upon one another.  They are base in their expression.  They are primary.  They require nothing else in order to be who they are.  They are whole.  They are singular. They are…color.

She loves Red.  Her affection for red extends to the nuanced hues that exist within the spectrum of the color red.  She may not be able to explain why she so readily responds to red, but she has no doubt about the fact that, red is a catalyst that moves her.  She knows that even the hues of this primary sensation are able to describe the very life she lives.

Magenta motivates her to move through life with purpose and drives her to make choices of clarity. The hue of Ruby allows her to rest in a space of resolve.  No matter what she may be experiencing, Ruby is her color of resolution for all that may be crashing down upon her thoughts and emotional energy. Burgundy gives her a sense of balance and bravado.  She is strengthened by its deep and saturated state of reflection.  Her moments of burgundy make even the most unsure of times become familiar and conquerable.  Whenever she knocks upon the door of Fuchsia, she knows that fear is answering her call.  Fuchsia is the over-extended brightness that masks the unknown for her.  Perhaps, being fuchsia will distract you from seeing her lack of burgundy and the indecisiveness of her ruby.  If ever backed into a corner, her Crimson crassness will surely be the reflection she projects and the sensation that all will experience.  It is biting.  Crimson is direct.  Crimson is unmistakable. Crimson takes no prisoners.  Crimson cares….about very little except its sensation of survival.  Crimson is not always accurate and doesn’t always seek burgundy as a partner but doesn’t mind if he tags along and stands two steps behind and doesn’t speak.  Crimson is always in the moment, even when the moment has passed. Scarlet is her space of sensuality.  Her sexiness and seduction are supremely situated in the sensory space of scarlet.  The sensitivity that she exudes within her scarlet space allows her to be vulnerable and more easily succumbed to any episodes of magenta deficiency which she may be dealing with.  Ultimately, she knows that she is… the color red.

Why do you keep demanding Shades of Blue from her?  If you desire to reach her you must speak her language.  Even in your effort to help advance her to understandings of the blue you, it is counter-productive to ignore her sense of being complete, competent, courageous and calm in her red space.  Educate her about blue…don’t diminish her because of her lack of sensitivity to it.  Learn how to offer her purple.  Know her well enough to not give her the shock of ROYAL BLUE as you try to share parts of you.  If she consistently refuses your blue and is not flexible enough to entertain your purple, then, you must…. find another object that is more sensitive to your true blue reflection.  And, that’s okay.  Blue is you…and… it’s just a color…. it needs nothing else in order to be primary!

Submitted by Steven D. Randolph – StevieD  (5-March-2012)

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Spoken Word – GOODBYE


 Goodbye – 27-FEB-2012

I promise I’m not really bitter, You’ve just left a bad taste in my life.
I’ll forget your shallow promises… The “How you would Be, if you were my wife”…
That’s probably NOT gonna happen now. 
It’s just your fairytale.
I’m certain you will replace my energy…with some desperate henpecked male…
 
I’m certainly not the one,
Who can fulfill your twisted need
To control THE MAN who you say you love
Who’s clearly not your son.
 
You see, the randomness of your consistency is not consistent at all
With the balance that I require to release to you my heart’s all.
The only thing I can count on is the frequency of your life’s many battles
The “I’m sensitive over this”, and the “I’m upset over that”, it’s like the nuisance of a Baby’s rattle.
Just background noise that indicates YES, you’re awake and occupied
No signs of your desire for any resolute truth, You just wanna be pacified. 
 
So… Here…. Stick THIS in your mouth!   I’ve raised all my kids!
 
I refuse to manage insecurity that’s wrapped up neatly in your low self-esteem.
I’ve done that before,
and I adamantly swore
I’d go to HELL before I rewind that scene!
 
I know I have a list of things required of a wife for me
But, that doesn’t make a difference if I never can be free
Of my own past hurt and sufferings that clearly was meant to be
As an opportunity for personal growth and relationship maturity.
 
So, I guess what I’m really saying is… “Okay we gave it a try
As God is in heaven, I do believe in his divine destined-eye
That new from my beginning, what the purpose would eventually be
For my choosing to explore romantic love with you and now needing to say goodbye.
 
 
Steven D Randolph – aka StevieD
 

SPOKEN WORD- Love Triangle


LOVE TRIANGLE_16JUL2011

How did I even get here?  What twisted, animalistic, complicated set of events aligned with the stars and brought this to be?

Me, a man secure in who I am…. realizing that I’m in a love of three…

ME….SHE….and….HE.

I’m confused.  But I don’t know why I feel like It’s a choice.

Caught in the middle of this emotional war

who deserves the privilege of loving my heart more, ME…SHE… OR HE?

Since the first moment we met, I knew I’d have a flow with her always

She is the epitome of heavenly beauty, so gentle and carefree.

She is intelligent, and caring, not overly emotional and can handle the worst, the very worst of me.

The love she brings to me is pure without any jealousy.  I don’t know a woman alive that just

Wants me to be the man I wanna be.

And Yet… there is HE! I met him when I met her never thinking that

He is the man that I long to be

Confident, secure, possessing 100% masculinity.

A Man’s man to man to all that  know him

Somehow this feels precisely what was destined for me in the creation’s master plan

I’ve never seen the righteous forsaken nor his seed beg bread,

So as a child of the king I pray to the Lord to navigate this triad.

My expectation was he’d make me choose and thereby making my heart to ache

But instead he gave me a liberty command to embrace all that I could take

HE SAID: “Honor thy father and mother that thy days may be long on this earth”

Give respect to the gentleness destined to give me life thru labored child-birth

So, I don’t have to choose, I can love them both with all that is within

Despite what you thought this love was about, this triangle love is not sin.

Momma and Daddy this 3-point affair started over 45 years ago

Never once have you considered, at least to my face, saying…”boy you have to go”

You’ve chastised me, you’ve advised me, Given me much more than I could ever ask

So I stand her tall…as a proud man wall declaring ALL IN THIS WORLD THAT WE HAVE

I don’t have to choose, I don’t have to lose, I can stay in this trinity

I can love you with everything that’s in my heart… this love of ME…SHE… and HE!

Dedicated to Isaac and Annie Randolph, My Love Triangle

Spoken Word – I Celebrate You!


P5_I CELEBRATE YOU_08SEP2011 (Edited)
4:05am (Completed 19-SEP-2011 2:06pm)

FOREWORD:  This piece was a release of all that was within me.  I am happy to say, once I articulated and regurgitated this, I became free from its bondage! 

I celebrate you good woman for all that you bring
Not caught up in status or in material things.
You possess spirit from heaven as if you’ve just left HIS throne
And your mere presence in my house makes it more than just home,
You make it my place of rest!

I reminisce of the sensual times that we’ve shared
In the bedroom, in the kitchen and most memorably the stairs.
It’s not just been spasms with cosmic orgasms
But penetration so deep I created a chasm
That even to this day I fondly explore… although, if just mentally since I have you no more.

I have no regrets for the path that I’ve taken
It’s been an unexpected and expensive vacation
From all that I knew and trusted within
Except the crack in our relationship that allowed the sin
To move into the space that once was so well protected
Now it has completely and eternally been infected….
With the cancer of infidelity!

It started with one trip with your girls to the beach
I never imagined the impact or even the reach
That a single red-rose tatted upon your ample breast
Would ignite my distrust and impede my nocturnal rest.

For even though it’s your body and you can do what you will
No prior discussion was offered to attempt to be-still…
My heart…from believing the madness which had just begun
And that you would choose to love anotha and still call me hon.
Fake { }!

 I admit that I was hurt, I was angry, and I was sad
The realization that I could never, ever be as my Dad…
Married with children and grandchildren too
Still loving the lil momma who once was just his boo…
Now… Boo…you’re just freakin scary!

Like the nightmare on my street
You’re reduced to a trick who gives away all MY TREATS.
Tom, Dick and Harry… well, those weren’t their real names…
Hell what difference does it make…’cause not one of them stayed
Soon after we divorced and when it didn’t even matter
All them motha-suckas picked-up they S!@#!$ and scattered.
Leaving you alone with the promises they conveniently broke
Your spirit permanently shaped like the tools that you stoked.

That’s why the words that you speak are full off “isms” and “cisms”
And you don’t have happiness ‘cause of all the competing jism
That swirls within your love box on any given day
It will take more than Massengale to remove that stank away.

Cause your decision left a stain that will always remain
In your life,  heart and spirit until you can proclaim
The truth behind your choice to break our marriage vow
Remember that one…. With the background “Here and Now”?

“Good God almighty, what have I done… “
Famous last words from my former hon.

So don’t try to call and complain about the brothas
Who played you…while they layed you, as you cheated on anotha…
Me… your husband!

You are my responsibility no longer
And I think I want my rib back
I refuse to be encumbered or even give up my stack
‘Cause all my cash is mine to do as I will
I just hope you have enough money to get back on the pill

I’m stronger, I’m wiser, I’m better than before
And… now I know and understand the spirit you bore
Was insecurity wrapped up neatly in your low self-esteem
And None of this infidelity was even about me.

You gave up the best…sweetheart….. and you shall remain alone.
Accept all your choices that destroyed your balanced home.
And even when you hook up with anotha brotha’s ministry
We both know that deep inside you will always remember ME…

I celebrate you good woman ‘cause you taught me a life lesson
I now know I can have… a fulfilled life…. Less….one.

Stevie-D (Steven D Randolph)

How Did I Get HERE?


 

 

Married at the age of twenty.

Divorced at the age of forty.

Not the vision I had for my life.

Living my future minus my wife.

Not the destiny I dreamed for my family.

Not the example my parents have set.

I am Such a disappointment to myself.

How can I justify this?

Who can explain this situation to me?.

HOW DID I GET “HERE”!???

Honestly, this road has been an unexpected trip that I could never imagine  myself having to embark upon.  The left turn that occurred in my relationship while the momentum had me  heading in a rightmost trajectory, threw EVERYTHING off kilter.  It sucks.  I am a family man by design.  I am a family man BY CHOICE!  I lack the desire to disrespect and use women.  And yet, I still find myself HERE!  Single.  Fearful.  Without a signficant lover and companion.  Without a wife. Adjusting to a different life….a different lifestyle…the single life.  The one consolation that I have found is the renewed opportunity to still express love.  I am in love with my Pops.  I am in love with my Moms.  I am in love with my oldest daughter.  I am in love with my only blood-son.  I am in love with my babygirl!  I RETAIN THE ABILITY TO LOVE!  That is a gift that I don’t take for granted.   Thank GOD for A HEART to SHOW LOVE!

While “HERE” is the place of the unexpected destiny of my past, I must convince myself that there is a reason for it.  I must parlay the experience of pain and disappointment into the catalyst for increased power and promise. I MUST not get stuck in my “HERE”!  I must find a way to get beyond my alphabetic fears!

The fear of “T” – TRUST.

The fear of “R” – REJECTION.

The fear of “I” – ISOLATION.

The fear of “C” – COMITTMENT.

The fear of “K “ – KINETIC INTIMACY.

I must be WILLING to BREAK FREE from the Bonds of THE devil’s TRICK…. and enjoy the TREAT that is The LOVE of GOD!

I got “HERE” because of choices that were made.  Some choices were made by me.  Some choices were made by someone else.  I OWN MY CHOICES!  Grace  has covered my choices of convenience.  Grace has covered my choices of rebellion.  Grace has covered my choices of frustration.  Grace has covered my choices of fear.  Grace has covered my choices of pride.  Grace has covered my choices of SIN.  GRACE COVERED ME while I was “THERE”…..and… GRACE COVERS ME WHILE I AM “HERE”!!

So, now I choose NOT TO WRESTLE against my “HERE”…but… embrace it as part of what is purposed for me.  It is an uncomfortable place.  At times, it is a lonely place.  Undoubtedly, it is an inconvenient place.  However, IT IS THE PLACE where HE continues to KEEP ME SAFE from all HARM!  In the palm of HIS hand…I  HAVE FOUND SAFETY!  Ultimately, “HERE” is where my peace shall dwell.

HOW DID I GET HERE?  At this point, It doesn’t even really matter…. I WOULD RATHER BE NOWHERE ELSE…but right “HERE”!!!

StevieD has submitted this #BASICTRUTH 17-FEB-2012 10:36pm

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