SPOKEN WORD- Love Triangle


LOVE TRIANGLE_16JUL2011

How did I even get here?  What twisted, animalistic, complicated set of events aligned with the stars and brought this to be?

Me, a man secure in who I am…. realizing that I’m in a love of three…

ME….SHE….and….HE.

I’m confused.  But I don’t know why I feel like It’s a choice.

Caught in the middle of this emotional war

who deserves the privilege of loving my heart more, ME…SHE… OR HE?

Since the first moment we met, I knew I’d have a flow with her always

She is the epitome of heavenly beauty, so gentle and carefree.

She is intelligent, and caring, not overly emotional and can handle the worst, the very worst of me.

The love she brings to me is pure without any jealousy.  I don’t know a woman alive that just

Wants me to be the man I wanna be.

And Yet… there is HE! I met him when I met her never thinking that

He is the man that I long to be

Confident, secure, possessing 100% masculinity.

A Man’s man to man to all that  know him

Somehow this feels precisely what was destined for me in the creation’s master plan

I’ve never seen the righteous forsaken nor his seed beg bread,

So as a child of the king I pray to the Lord to navigate this triad.

My expectation was he’d make me choose and thereby making my heart to ache

But instead he gave me a liberty command to embrace all that I could take

HE SAID: “Honor thy father and mother that thy days may be long on this earth”

Give respect to the gentleness destined to give me life thru labored child-birth

So, I don’t have to choose, I can love them both with all that is within

Despite what you thought this love was about, this triangle love is not sin.

Momma and Daddy this 3-point affair started over 45 years ago

Never once have you considered, at least to my face, saying…”boy you have to go”

You’ve chastised me, you’ve advised me, Given me much more than I could ever ask

So I stand her tall…as a proud man wall declaring ALL IN THIS WORLD THAT WE HAVE

I don’t have to choose, I don’t have to lose, I can stay in this trinity

I can love you with everything that’s in my heart… this love of ME…SHE… and HE!

Dedicated to Isaac and Annie Randolph, My Love Triangle

How Did I Get HERE?


 

 

Married at the age of twenty.

Divorced at the age of forty.

Not the vision I had for my life.

Living my future minus my wife.

Not the destiny I dreamed for my family.

Not the example my parents have set.

I am Such a disappointment to myself.

How can I justify this?

Who can explain this situation to me?.

HOW DID I GET “HERE”!???

Honestly, this road has been an unexpected trip that I could never imagine  myself having to embark upon.  The left turn that occurred in my relationship while the momentum had me  heading in a rightmost trajectory, threw EVERYTHING off kilter.  It sucks.  I am a family man by design.  I am a family man BY CHOICE!  I lack the desire to disrespect and use women.  And yet, I still find myself HERE!  Single.  Fearful.  Without a signficant lover and companion.  Without a wife. Adjusting to a different life….a different lifestyle…the single life.  The one consolation that I have found is the renewed opportunity to still express love.  I am in love with my Pops.  I am in love with my Moms.  I am in love with my oldest daughter.  I am in love with my only blood-son.  I am in love with my babygirl!  I RETAIN THE ABILITY TO LOVE!  That is a gift that I don’t take for granted.   Thank GOD for A HEART to SHOW LOVE!

While “HERE” is the place of the unexpected destiny of my past, I must convince myself that there is a reason for it.  I must parlay the experience of pain and disappointment into the catalyst for increased power and promise. I MUST not get stuck in my “HERE”!  I must find a way to get beyond my alphabetic fears!

The fear of “T” – TRUST.

The fear of “R” – REJECTION.

The fear of “I” – ISOLATION.

The fear of “C” – COMITTMENT.

The fear of “K “ – KINETIC INTIMACY.

I must be WILLING to BREAK FREE from the Bonds of THE devil’s TRICK…. and enjoy the TREAT that is The LOVE of GOD!

I got “HERE” because of choices that were made.  Some choices were made by me.  Some choices were made by someone else.  I OWN MY CHOICES!  Grace  has covered my choices of convenience.  Grace has covered my choices of rebellion.  Grace has covered my choices of frustration.  Grace has covered my choices of fear.  Grace has covered my choices of pride.  Grace has covered my choices of SIN.  GRACE COVERED ME while I was “THERE”…..and… GRACE COVERS ME WHILE I AM “HERE”!!

So, now I choose NOT TO WRESTLE against my “HERE”…but… embrace it as part of what is purposed for me.  It is an uncomfortable place.  At times, it is a lonely place.  Undoubtedly, it is an inconvenient place.  However, IT IS THE PLACE where HE continues to KEEP ME SAFE from all HARM!  In the palm of HIS hand…I  HAVE FOUND SAFETY!  Ultimately, “HERE” is where my peace shall dwell.

HOW DID I GET HERE?  At this point, It doesn’t even really matter…. I WOULD RATHER BE NOWHERE ELSE…but right “HERE”!!!

StevieD has submitted this #BASICTRUTH 17-FEB-2012 10:36pm

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