Shades of Blue

First, let us just agree that there is nothing inherently bad about blue or red.  Conversely, we must also agree that there is nothing exceptionally brilliant about red or blue.  They are, in fact, just color.  Color is simply the property that helps to describe the sensation that our eyes experience as a result of light being reflected off of an object.  Red and Blue possess the ability and uniqueness to stand alone and appeal to a unique set of experiences, circumstances, and opportunities without interference from or dependency upon one another.  They are base in their expression.  They are primary.  They require nothing else in order to be who they are.  They are whole.  They are singular. They are…color.

She loves Red.  Her affection for red extends to the nuanced hues that exist within the spectrum of the color red.  She may not be able to explain why she so readily responds to red, but she has no doubt about the fact that, red is a catalyst that moves her.  She knows that even the hues of this primary sensation are able to describe the very life she lives.

Magenta motivates her to move through life with purpose and drives her to make choices of clarity. The hue of Ruby allows her to rest in a space of resolve.  No matter what she may be experiencing, Ruby is her color of resolution for all that may be crashing down upon her thoughts and emotional energy. Burgundy gives her a sense of balance and bravado.  She is strengthened by its deep and saturated state of reflection.  Her moments of burgundy make even the most unsure of times become familiar and conquerable.  Whenever she knocks upon the door of Fuchsia, she knows that fear is answering her call.  Fuchsia is the over-extended brightness that masks the unknown for her.  Perhaps, being fuchsia will distract you from seeing her lack of burgundy and the indecisiveness of her ruby.  If ever backed into a corner, her Crimson crassness will surely be the reflection she projects and the sensation that all will experience.  It is biting.  Crimson is direct.  Crimson is unmistakable. Crimson takes no prisoners.  Crimson cares….about very little except its sensation of survival.  Crimson is not always accurate and doesn’t always seek burgundy as a partner but doesn’t mind if he tags along and stands two steps behind and doesn’t speak.  Crimson is always in the moment, even when the moment has passed. Scarlet is her space of sensuality.  Her sexiness and seduction are supremely situated in the sensory space of scarlet.  The sensitivity that she exudes within her scarlet space allows her to be vulnerable and more easily succumbed to any episodes of magenta deficiency which she may be dealing with.  Ultimately, she knows that she is… the color red.

Why do you keep demanding Shades of Blue from her?  If you desire to reach her you must speak her language.  Even in your effort to help advance her to understandings of the blue you, it is counter-productive to ignore her sense of being complete, competent, courageous and calm in her red space.  Educate her about blue…don’t diminish her because of her lack of sensitivity to it.  Learn how to offer her purple.  Know her well enough to not give her the shock of ROYAL BLUE as you try to share parts of you.  If she consistently refuses your blue and is not flexible enough to entertain your purple, then, you must…. find another object that is more sensitive to your true blue reflection.  And, that’s okay.  Blue is you…and… it’s just a color…. it needs nothing else in order to be primary!

Submitted by Steven D. Randolph – StevieD  (5-March-2012)

“…But That’s NOT What I Meant!”

Conflict.  Conflict always brings about a journey to discover that which is absolute truth.  Well, while absolute truth is the theoretical destination, most opportunities of conflict lead to the revelation of individual perspective truth.  For purposes of discussion let’s characterize absolute truth to mean all that is factual and literal.  Absolute truth can be further described as the elements of “what is…” without interpretation, manipulation or discrimination from any external source. Conversely, perspective truth envelopes the influence of that which absolute truth discards.  Stated differently, perspective truth can and does take into account many variables of external influence to complete its view of an experience.  Perspective truth can be characterized as the elements of truth as perceived by an individual that rely on personality filters, biases, anecdotal experiences, training, culture, belief and value measures, etc…  Perspective truth really is the truth “as I see it”.

Many a disagreement has occurred that causes someone to invariably declare, “…But that’s not what I meant!”  Only, at the point that this statement is uttered, that which has been spoken before has already had its effect.   In romantic relationships, as is true in all scopes of inter-personal communication, it is important to be aware of the words which we speak and their probable value to the person we are communicating with.

Nothing is more reckless than a person who is willing to speak totally unfiltered, without regard for where or how their words land.  Many people feel that all that they must worry about is whether or not the content of what they speak is valid or true.  While it is important to speak that which is true, there also has to be an awareness of how someone will receive the words of truth.

All communication is bi-lateral.  No matter what information or idea is being expressed, every communication experience has intent and every communication experience has impact.  The very measure of effective communication is when there is understanding of or sensitivity to the intent and impact of what is being said before it is said.   Having an understanding and appreciation for the elements of intent and impact can shape both the delivery method and the content of the information being expressed.  Many couples fall into the trap of “keeping it 100” and “getting it off my chest” as a means of expressing how open to the idea of communication they are.  However, failing to realize that once words are spoken, it is hard to retrieve the harm those words can cause, can ruin any opportunities of actually achieving the desired results.  What you intend to say and the impact of what you did say can be very different destinations.  The communication experience can take on a totally different tone when there is a break-down between what was said and how someone receives what is being said.  While, you cannot totally predict how someone will respond to your communication, it is always good to consider who you are talking to and how they may interpret what you are saying.

Undeliverable absolute truth is just as detrimental to effective communication as is false or perspective truth communicated via ignorance.

Communication is an art form.  Effective communication is a skill.  Learn to be slow to speak.  Reduce the conflict in your relationship by learning to evaluate what you want to say and how you may choose to say it before actually saying it.  It seems simple, right?  No matter what, your words will have some effect.  Seek to consider the impact of what you wish to say as you pursue the intent of saying what it is you wish to convey.

StevieD – Intent vs Impact 17-Feb-2012


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