All posts tagged relationship
Spoken Word – Standing Room Only
Posted by StevieD on March 12, 2012
https://stevenrandolph.wordpress.com/2012/03/12/spoken-word-standing-room-only/
Shades of Blue
First, let us just agree that there is nothing inherently bad about blue or red. Conversely, we must also agree that there is nothing exceptionally brilliant about red or blue. They are, in fact, just color. Color is simply the property that helps to describe the sensation that our eyes experience as a result of light being reflected off of an object. Red and Blue possess the ability and uniqueness to stand alone and appeal to a unique set of experiences, circumstances, and opportunities without interference from or dependency upon one another. They are base in their expression. They are primary. They require nothing else in order to be who they are. They are whole. They are singular. They are…color.
She loves Red. Her affection for red extends to the nuanced hues that exist within the spectrum of the color red. She may not be able to explain why she so readily responds to red, but she has no doubt about the fact that, red is a catalyst that moves her. She knows that even the hues of this primary sensation are able to describe the very life she lives.
Magenta motivates her to move through life with purpose and drives her to make choices of clarity. The hue of Ruby allows her to rest in a space of resolve. No matter what she may be experiencing, Ruby is her color of resolution for all that may be crashing down upon her thoughts and emotional energy. Burgundy gives her a sense of balance and bravado. She is strengthened by its deep and saturated state of reflection. Her moments of burgundy make even the most unsure of times become familiar and conquerable. Whenever she knocks upon the door of Fuchsia, she knows that fear is answering her call. Fuchsia is the over-extended brightness that masks the unknown for her. Perhaps, being fuchsia will distract you from seeing her lack of burgundy and the indecisiveness of her ruby. If ever backed into a corner, her Crimson crassness will surely be the reflection she projects and the sensation that all will experience. It is biting. Crimson is direct. Crimson is unmistakable. Crimson takes no prisoners. Crimson cares….about very little except its sensation of survival. Crimson is not always accurate and doesn’t always seek burgundy as a partner but doesn’t mind if he tags along and stands two steps behind and doesn’t speak. Crimson is always in the moment, even when the moment has passed. Scarlet is her space of sensuality. Her sexiness and seduction are supremely situated in the sensory space of scarlet. The sensitivity that she exudes within her scarlet space allows her to be vulnerable and more easily succumbed to any episodes of magenta deficiency which she may be dealing with. Ultimately, she knows that she is… the color red.
Why do you keep demanding Shades of Blue from her? If you desire to reach her you must speak her language. Even in your effort to help advance her to understandings of the blue you, it is counter-productive to ignore her sense of being complete, competent, courageous and calm in her red space. Educate her about blue…don’t diminish her because of her lack of sensitivity to it. Learn how to offer her purple. Know her well enough to not give her the shock of ROYAL BLUE as you try to share parts of you. If she consistently refuses your blue and is not flexible enough to entertain your purple, then, you must…. find another object that is more sensitive to your true blue reflection. And, that’s okay. Blue is you…and… it’s just a color…. it needs nothing else in order to be primary!
Submitted by Steven D. Randolph – StevieD (5-March-2012)
Posted by StevieD on March 5, 2012
https://stevenrandolph.wordpress.com/2012/03/05/shades-of-blue/
Spoken Word – I Celebrate You!
P5_I CELEBRATE YOU_08SEP2011 (Edited)
4:05am (Completed 19-SEP-2011 2:06pm)
FOREWORD: This piece was a release of all that was within me. I am happy to say, once I articulated and regurgitated this, I became free from its bondage!
I celebrate you good woman for all that you bring
Not caught up in status or in material things.
You possess spirit from heaven as if you’ve just left HIS throne
And your mere presence in my house makes it more than just home,
You make it my place of rest!
I reminisce of the sensual times that we’ve shared
In the bedroom, in the kitchen and most memorably the stairs.
It’s not just been spasms with cosmic orgasms
But penetration so deep I created a chasm
That even to this day I fondly explore… although, if just mentally since I have you no more.
I have no regrets for the path that I’ve taken
It’s been an unexpected and expensive vacation
From all that I knew and trusted within
Except the crack in our relationship that allowed the sin
To move into the space that once was so well protected
Now it has completely and eternally been infected….
With the cancer of infidelity!
It started with one trip with your girls to the beach
I never imagined the impact or even the reach
That a single red-rose tatted upon your ample breast
Would ignite my distrust and impede my nocturnal rest.
For even though it’s your body and you can do what you will
No prior discussion was offered to attempt to be-still…
My heart…from believing the madness which had just begun
And that you would choose to love anotha and still call me hon.
Fake { }!
I admit that I was hurt, I was angry, and I was sad
The realization that I could never, ever be as my Dad…
Married with children and grandchildren too
Still loving the lil momma who once was just his boo…
Now… Boo…you’re just freakin scary!
Like the nightmare on my street
You’re reduced to a trick who gives away all MY TREATS.
Tom, Dick and Harry… well, those weren’t their real names…
Hell what difference does it make…’cause not one of them stayed
Soon after we divorced and when it didn’t even matter
All them motha-suckas picked-up they S!@#!$ and scattered.
Leaving you alone with the promises they conveniently broke
Your spirit permanently shaped like the tools that you stoked.
That’s why the words that you speak are full off “isms” and “cisms”
And you don’t have happiness ‘cause of all the competing jism
That swirls within your love box on any given day
It will take more than Massengale to remove that stank away.
Cause your decision left a stain that will always remain
In your life, heart and spirit until you can proclaim
The truth behind your choice to break our marriage vow
Remember that one…. With the background “Here and Now”?
“Good God almighty, what have I done… “
Famous last words from my former hon.
So don’t try to call and complain about the brothas
Who played you…while they layed you, as you cheated on anotha…
Me… your husband!
You are my responsibility no longer
And I think I want my rib back
I refuse to be encumbered or even give up my stack
‘Cause all my cash is mine to do as I will
I just hope you have enough money to get back on the pill
I’m stronger, I’m wiser, I’m better than before
And… now I know and understand the spirit you bore
Was insecurity wrapped up neatly in your low self-esteem
And None of this infidelity was even about me.
You gave up the best…sweetheart….. and you shall remain alone.
Accept all your choices that destroyed your balanced home.
And even when you hook up with anotha brotha’s ministry
We both know that deep inside you will always remember ME…
I celebrate you good woman ‘cause you taught me a life lesson
I now know I can have… a fulfilled life…. Less….one.
Stevie-D (Steven D Randolph)
Posted by StevieD on February 20, 2012
https://stevenrandolph.wordpress.com/2012/02/20/spoken-word-i-celebrate-you/
Spoken Word – TOUCH ME
Touch Me
28JULY2011_P4C
Touch Me… Hold Me… Let your warmth bestow upon me only what I need for now.
I’m not starving, but I am hungry for the love I once tasted before my spirit dwindled down.
Hungry for The Love that makes me weep when I make it
Hungry for The Love that’s strength to my weightiness.
Hungry for the Love that’s invincible to the struggles of life that quake.,,YES….
I am strong but this trouble’s been with me far too long
And now has overtaken my innocent view of Love….and You. That feels so wrong.
So, I am left with a love that’s fake and shallow
Devoid of my Heart, so large but hollow.
I’m left with a heart that’s full of alphabetic fear….
Fear of “T” – TRUST
Fear of “R” – REJECTION
Fear of “I” – ISOLATION
Fear of “C” – COMMITMENT
Fear if “K” – KINETIC INTIMACY
I’m Left holding the devil’s TRICK and… that’s no TREAT!
My GOD, why have you allowed this destructive fear to reside within me?
What possible task in your master plan could make THIS the answer be?
You created me Man in the Eden Gar-den
With dominion and authority
Now I feel less than he who can conquer it all
I dwell on my deficiency.
You said ” be fruitful “, I Did!
You said ” multiply”, I Did!
You said “Don’t touch”, She Did! Well, then I did. Ok. We did. Not Good. Very Not Good.
So I ask myself again,
My GOD, why have you allowed this destructive fear to reside within me?
What possible task in your master plan could make THIS the answer be?
And, like always your answer was ordained and preset, just waiting on my needs to completely be met
By… your word. Holy.
For your Word says Perfect love casts out all fear
So perfect the love that draws me nearer
To you… and only you.
But, I’m alone and sometimes lonely. I need body-heat that satisfies the longing of my heart, the creativity of my mind and the titillation of my man-meat… I NEED A WOMAN!
But what will it cost if I turn from your perfect love to embrace a love that’s cheap?
Some days…I don’t even care so you place YOUR Grace on sale
And I purchase much needed rest and peace. Thanks!
I want to be your follower because your son has paved the way.
I long to be a worshipper in truth and spirit always.
This struggle within me, reminder of humanity, makes walking this journey so keen
As much as I love, honor and adore you, the lack of HER love makes me mean…ingless.
I’m not obsessed, depressed or possessed, Oh, I vividly see what’s for me.
To be loved by her and still embraced by you,
My God, My Savior and King.
So, Touch my mind so that it is more like yours
Hold my heart and and re-open the doors that allows perfect love to flow in.
For to be carnally minded is not in your will and to be alone without you would be my sin.
Grant me my desire to be loved by her, the wife that knows you first.
Allow me to find the queen of my life, she who has already been birthed
Into your kingdom, full and free….
Just Waiting…just waiting for ME to be…. Touched… By… YOU!
….And that’s that piece!
StevieD – Steven D Randolph
Posted by StevieD on February 18, 2012
https://stevenrandolph.wordpress.com/2012/02/18/spoken-word-touch-me/
Spoken Word – A BROTHA LIKE ME
A BROTHA LIKE ME
15-JUN-2011 – Virgin Piece – (SPOKEN WORD)
Just admit it babygirl…. You can’t compete.
You can’t compete to attain the likes of the much sought afta’ and rarely celebrated “good black man.”
Spending more energy systematically cutting him down than spiritually building him up.
Ever so willing to take, but unable to forsake the generational curse which yo’ grand-momma’s momma conspired to create….so…Go ahead and Take this… take a seat . No Joke. Sit the Fuck down. …
‘cause You are not ready for a brotha like me!
Why? Cause you’ve got plenty of drama sagas that you and you’re girl like to tell…. to colorfully masquerade the truth of your absent male. You complain about the brothas who spawn babies and don’t stay. If he refuses to sleep with you ‘cause u so “around-the-way” your response is automatically and emphatically … “He must be gay”!!!
You’re confused about what to do with all the “real men” in jail, and you routinely get pissed when we choose skin milky pale…. Well…Hell…. let’s just say it… when we sleep with white girls!
But what intrigues me the most about your most provocative sales pitch is that not once have you confessed that you possess the spirit of B%$%$.!
Now… pause I must… cause that term is kinda harsh… I gotta momma, 5 sistas and 2-daughters of course…. But B%$%$.! isn’t a word to classify all females… just u lil momma… cause u live by your tail. Big Ass… nice breasts… soft kissable lips… makin’ money by the hour with the sway of your hips. It’s coo if u really need to flow that way… but.. brotha’s like me get turned-on when you 401k — Vested!
See…. You can’t really handle a brotha like me…
Anointed….Intelligent, monogamous and full of so much integrity that you haven’t seen… that it makes the life you choose to live seem cheap….low rent… discount…. Dollar tree….
Don’t fret, Don’t worry… there’s a viable market for that… plenty of men will go down on that high-traffic kitty-cat….while your guts all in a flutter…and your feelin warm and mushy… all he’s thinkin bout is how he got some more skank pussy! But once again, it proves… what is plain to see…
You’re just not ready for a good black man… a brotha like me.
Don’t get me wrong my lady… I’m not angry, I’m not hatin, I’ve not even fully-giving up masturbatin’ ‘cause you think you got me on lock With the sweetness of your cherry goodness and like a lemon you drip, drip, drop all ova a brothas face And make me wish I had a way to feast and taste till the rind of your vagina walls break down and come crashing all around my tongue ..and my face… piercing beyond the depths of the space where the sun never shines…and the moon dares not glow…where many have tried but seldom can go…yeah…that spot ….yo spot..…that “G”- that mystery… ecstasy….fantasy…magically deliciously sweeeeet… Whoa….Dang…..but…hold up….I got caught up…. Before I mess up and give up…. Let me stop….not yet.
Cause there is so much more that you need to know, before you begin to even use your skills to blow….My…P …not my manhood….….. My phone… Blowin my phone up….. tryin to get at me …..for what you think is gonna be a deep-hook in me ….. that you believe will guarantee my choice is thee and I’m reeled in to be your biggest fan-ta-sy…mo money… big stick…family- security…. !
(sing … Don’t wake me…I’m dreamin….”)…. errrrp…commercial break ova ….but… I WILL WAKE YOU cause IM NOT DREAMIN… and I’m not sleep… I need you to get a clue like bo gotta peep….now peep this out…
You ain’t ready for a brotha like me!
Adam Eve…sew my seed… make me flow bring me peace…gotta finish what was started… divine destiny.
You see…Sex is what I’m designed to do. Make love is what I wanna do…but… u… u are just a good luck-Fuck. Like finding a penny you are just like many. And if I don’t pick u up I’ve only lost 1%… Nobody ever cries over a single cent..hell… .”anotha day, anotha dollar” that’s public sentiment.
No shame to the game that you play to hide chronic pain. And you wonder why yo’ kids got 9 last names…. Cause…u were just a good-luck Fuck and now you stuck… with seeds that need a gardener to tend and cultivate…to cause to germinate and grow into lives of splenda that can participate in the beautiful journey called “The Modern Life….…but… your thumb ain’t green… and u mean as hell…poor seeds.. will never grow to be all they can be… not even fit for the U. S. Military….
Unless and until you find a brotha like me.
But finders is not keep-hers… you got it twisted babe…. because we don’t flow like that…we ain’t lookin for maids… you can cook, clean, wash and sex me everyday… but our “good thing” called wife is found, not randomly laid.
Yeah…. I walk in the room… with no hidden agenda and before I get my first drink you scurry and benda- ova….givin me permission to spank it …wank it… hit-it and quit-it… But… I barely know your name… your eye color… your real hair length……Got-Damn shame!
You ain’t ready for a brotha like me.
We ain’t down for all that…. And… before you deny and create the lie that is your Modus-operandi…u need to stop. It aint about me provin to be a “REAL MAN” I can choose or not choose to be daddy to your “…GOT-DAMN clan. You’re their mother. If you want a father stop creepin’ wit bois. If you wanna husband stop playin wit toys that are not meant for you to handle , cause….like the wick on a candle.. they soon will burn the heck out and you will be left with nothing but melted residue of what formerly was light…but…now… is dark…useless…. Unrecognizable… waste. Hear this!
And… That’s… that… Piece… from a “good black man”…. A Brotha Like Me, !
Posted by StevieD on February 18, 2012
https://stevenrandolph.wordpress.com/2012/02/18/spoken-word-a-brotha-like-me/
How Did I Get HERE?
Married at the age of twenty.
Divorced at the age of forty.
Not the vision I had for my life.
Living my future minus my wife.
Not the destiny I dreamed for my family.
Not the example my parents have set.
I am Such a disappointment to myself.
How can I justify this?
Who can explain this situation to me?.
HOW DID I GET “HERE”!???
Honestly, this road has been an unexpected trip that I could never imagine myself having to embark upon. The left turn that occurred in my relationship while the momentum had me heading in a rightmost trajectory, threw EVERYTHING off kilter. It sucks. I am a family man by design. I am a family man BY CHOICE! I lack the desire to disrespect and use women. And yet, I still find myself HERE! Single. Fearful. Without a signficant lover and companion. Without a wife. Adjusting to a different life….a different lifestyle…the single life. The one consolation that I have found is the renewed opportunity to still express love. I am in love with my Pops. I am in love with my Moms. I am in love with my oldest daughter. I am in love with my only blood-son. I am in love with my babygirl! I RETAIN THE ABILITY TO LOVE! That is a gift that I don’t take for granted. Thank GOD for A HEART to SHOW LOVE!
While “HERE” is the place of the unexpected destiny of my past, I must convince myself that there is a reason for it. I must parlay the experience of pain and disappointment into the catalyst for increased power and promise. I MUST not get stuck in my “HERE”! I must find a way to get beyond my alphabetic fears!
The fear of “T” – TRUST.
The fear of “R” – REJECTION.
The fear of “I” – ISOLATION.
The fear of “C” – COMITTMENT.
The fear of “K “ – KINETIC INTIMACY.
I must be WILLING to BREAK FREE from the Bonds of THE devil’s TRICK…. and enjoy the TREAT that is The LOVE of GOD!
I got “HERE” because of choices that were made. Some choices were made by me. Some choices were made by someone else. I OWN MY CHOICES! Grace has covered my choices of convenience. Grace has covered my choices of rebellion. Grace has covered my choices of frustration. Grace has covered my choices of fear. Grace has covered my choices of pride. Grace has covered my choices of SIN. GRACE COVERED ME while I was “THERE”…..and… GRACE COVERS ME WHILE I AM “HERE”!!
So, now I choose NOT TO WRESTLE against my “HERE”…but… embrace it as part of what is purposed for me. It is an uncomfortable place. At times, it is a lonely place. Undoubtedly, it is an inconvenient place. However, IT IS THE PLACE where HE continues to KEEP ME SAFE from all HARM! In the palm of HIS hand…I HAVE FOUND SAFETY! Ultimately, “HERE” is where my peace shall dwell.
HOW DID I GET HERE? At this point, It doesn’t even really matter…. I WOULD RATHER BE NOWHERE ELSE…but right “HERE”!!!
StevieD has submitted this #BASICTRUTH 17-FEB-2012 10:36pm
Posted by StevieD on February 18, 2012
https://stevenrandolph.wordpress.com/2012/02/18/how-did-i-get-here/
Fear: Understanding Its Parts Before Managing Its Whole
FEAR
Let me just say it up front, MEN HAVE FEARS and at times, MEN OPERATE OUT OF THEIR FEAR. No need for the band to play, cheerleaders to contort into three-dimensional expressions of “I TOLD YOU SO”…and… the fat lady need not sing. It is neither difficult nor embarrassing to admit that men have some of the same emotional struggles while navigating the relationship space as do their female counterparts. Now, that being said. We can move forward.
Despite the rhetoric of many alpha personalities, fear is NOT a diminutive emotion or emotional response, which should only be expressed by the “weaker sex” or “un-real” men. Fear Has Purpose. Fear has Perspective. Fear has Position. Fear has Power. One thing that Fear lacks is PEACE! To allow fear to exist in your life and specifically within your relationship quest, requires you to declare imminent if not immediate war with your available spirit peace. Fear Is The Enemy of Spirit Peace.
For discussion purposes, consider the following:
“Fear is the feeling of agitation and anxiety caused by the presence or imminence of danger.”
Fear Has Purpose: We are always led to believe that fear is innately bad. Without getting into the theological discussion of fear as expressed in the Holy Bible, “God has not given us the spirit of fear but of power , of love and sound mind….(2 Timothy 1:7)”, fear is a naturally occurring emotion for mankind. This scripture simply and emphatically highlights its spirit source. However, it’s purpose remains. The purpose of fear is to bring about an increased awareness of and sensitivity toward the spirit space of our everyday environment. We are three-dimensional (body, soul and spirit)beings and our relationships are a convergence of these three dimensions. This convergence occurs whether we want it to or not. Conflict comes when your body, mind and spirit are not in agreement with the body, mind and spirit of the target of your desired relationship.
Fear Has Perspective: Perspective is a point of view. Fear is the view of a circumstance or sometimes even the idea of a circumstance from the inside of you (your mind), looking outward. No one can exert fear over you. One must make the choice to express fear with regard to a specific internal or external catalyst.. Where there is a choice, there is a responsiblity. Where there is responsibility there is accountability. If you are responsible for making a choice out of fear, then you are equally accountable for the consequence of that fear-choice. Consequence is not innately negative, consequence is simply an end-result, be it positive or negative in comparison.
Fear Has Position: We give fear a position of influence in our lives. Period. This position can either be subordinate in nature or dominant in practice. Once again, we are met with the dilemma of choice. And in fact, fear has the uncanny strategy of deceiving us into believing we don’t actually have a choice in the matter. This is where the negativity of fear occurs and reeks havoc in the lives of those who allow fear to have a headliner role in the stage performance of our lives. Fear requires balance when it is present.
Fear Has Power: Fear gets its power directly from the position in which one allows it to hold within one’s life. Fear is a forward-impacting emotion that can stop you from exerting power over your future, even your intended destiny. Fear will cripple your ability to exert power over aspects of your life that are not good for your Healthy Stablility and Survival, Fear, in the wrong position, will decrease your freedom to excercise power over whom to give and recieve proper love. Fear, that is out of balance, can overtake your power to choose to function in soundness of mind.
Ultimately, Fear is in direct opposition to the peace that is the designed state of mind and state of existence for our lives. Fear is at war with our God peace. We may not be able to annihilate fear from our lives totally, but, when we understand its elements, when we are sensitive to its tactics, when we are aware of it impact and influence we are better equipped to manage it into submission.
(Program Note: Stay tuned for additional entries related to “THE WEAKER SEX” and “The UN-REAL MAN”)
Posted by StevieD on February 10, 2012
https://stevenrandolph.wordpress.com/2012/02/10/fear-understanding-its-parts-before-managing-its-whole/
BASIC TRUTHS by StevieD (Steven D Randolph) 